Hollywood and how to win

Once you make it into acting, with a few roles here and there, if you want to be an actor and not a movie star and get recognition, you must follow these steps, meaning you must go to casting auditions looking for these roles:

  • Disabled: Physically disabled means, you will get an oscar nomination right away, many actors choose roles that compromised any part of their bodies to overcome society, work place or the government. Recently Brendan Fraser did it in The Whale. Instant success.
  • Mentally impaired/mental disorder: From Rain man to I am sam, Choosing a mentally impaired person will get you instant recognition. Dicaprio did it, Sean penn have done it several times, Tom hanks, Jodie foster clickbaited the academy as well, Daniel day-lewis did it, Just choose any actor and they did it, all of them.
  • Deadly illness or syndrome or about to die under external circumstances : this is different from the previous method, Tom hanks again did it (Philadelphia), Sean penn did it (Dead man walking), Sean penn is a genius, choosing roles for oscar clickbait. Matthew maccounaghey did it. Dying in films will get you oscars.
  • LGBTQ: Enough said? Sean penn again, what a genius (Milk), Tom hanks put two and two together (philadelphia), Hillary swank, Chalamet, ETC….
  • A slave: …………… yeah
  • Kick, Scream and cry: ….. A lot…(Marriage story)
  • Weight: Get skinny or Overweight
  • Get naked or get bald headed: Take your shirt off , your pants off, dance naked like Natalie Portman, Viggo mortensen or Brando.
  • A historical figure with tons of make up: Easy

All these methods will get you instant success, now, from memory alone not research, 89% of roles chosen by the academy fit the criteria, the other 11% are roles ignored by the academy are performances that do not fit the criteria (Gary Oldman in Tinker taylor soldier spy, in this role, Oldman plays a calm and passive character wich is different from the criteria, it’s everything an actor with such a career can risk with)

From memory these are some roles that were clickbait and fit the criteria:

  • Tom hanks (Philadelphia, Forest gump)
  • Robert deniro (Awakenings)
  • Jodie foster (Nell)
  • Dustin hoffman (Rain man)
  • Denzel Washington (Glory)
  • Jamie foxx (Django unchained)
  • Chiwetel Ejiofor (12 years a slave)
  • Lupita nyong’o (12 years a slave)
  • Daniel day-lewis (my left foot)
  • Al Pacino (Scent of a woman)
  • Gary oldman (The darkest hour)
  • Natalie portman (closer, black swan)
  • Heath ledger (Brokeback mountain)
  • Jake gyllenhal (brokeback mountain)
  • Tymothee chalamet (call me by your name)
  • Hillary swank (boys dont cry)
  • Genius mastermind Sean Penn (Dead man walking, Milk, I am sam, ETC…)
  • Leonardo Dicaprio (What’s eating gilbert grape)
  • Johnny depp (Benny and joon)
  • Cuba Gooding jr. (Radio)
  • Billy bob thornton (Sling Blade)
  • Juliette lewis (The other sister)
  • Russell crowe (a beautiful mind)
  • John malkovich (of mice and men)
  • Peter sellers (being there)
  • Adrien brody (the village)
  • Brad pitt (twelve monkeys)
  • Felicity huffman (transamerica)
  • Bradley cooper (American sniper)
  • Tom cruise (born on the fourth of july, Vanilla Sky)
  • Tobey maguire (Brothers)
  • Sean mothefucking Penn again (Mystic river)
  • Margott Robbie (i, tonya)
  • Sylvester stallone (First blood)
  • Marlee matlin (children of a lesser god)
  • Peter finch (network)
  • Fredrich march (mr jekyll and mr hyde)
  • Gary cooper (the pride of the yankees)
  • Ray milland (the lost weekend)
  • Jose ferrer (cyrano de bergerac)

Anyway, let me stop here….

If you want a job in hollywood and you just made it out of acting school, follow my advice, of course this might seem like a sarcastic article but it’s as accurate as water is clear and the trees are green, this is obviously a criticism to hollywood. Hollywood died a long time ago and Martin scorsese talked about it recently, if you want to watch real cinema, watch foreign films.

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